You may remember,
The legend of Rito Island,
Where the Chipotle Secret Sauce flows,
Like wine down my throat.
However,
Chipotle did not like,
The secret of Rito Island being exposed.
They took action,
And now I’m paying,
25 Cents for every side of Chipotle’s Secret Sauce.
I’m hurt and I don’t hurt easily.
😢
Have you ever had Chipotle’s secret sauce?
Some call it vinaigrette.
But I’ve had vinaigrette sauce before and let me tell you,
That ain’t it.
It’s full of flavor.
Spices.
But not too spicy.
I once saw them blend it in a blender.
What!
Legend has it,
It is imported from an island called,
Rito Island.
They say the sand feels like a fresh tortilla,
Hot off the press.
One day I will find this mysterious Rito Island,
And become a permanent resident.
See you there,
Chipotle.
Oh Chipotle.
Why are you so good to me?
I feel like a little pup,
I want you when I wake up.
Before bed?
Thats not what I said,
But yes.
I would eat you in the stars,
If only we could get to Mars.
A Rito in hand,
While watching the land,
Farm to table,
You mean,
Farm to my BELLY.
I love you, Chipotle.
Ever get to Chipotle to see the line,
Wrapped around the building,
Like the foil wrapped around your Burrito.
You’re standing in line,
You think to yourself,
I should’ve ordered on the Chipotle App.
But,
When you do it the old fashioned way,
The Burrito taste better.
So,
What if there was a way,
To see the approximate wait time,
At your Chipotle of choice.
Just a thought,
While I stand in line.
Chipotle…….
Did you notice?
Chorizo….
It’s gone.
Again.
Where did it go?
Why did it go?
I don’t remember casting my vote.
Will it come back?
I miss you.
????
I had a revelation today.
At Chipotle of course.
I was standing in line.
Looking at my iPhone.
Looking at my Robinhood app.
Looking at the Chipotle Stock.
I heard “What up”.
I quickly looked up and said, “Rito”.
Mouth watering.
She could hardly wrap it.
It was my lucky day.
But wait,
Why is the Rito so big?
No portion control.
No portion control = more food.
More food = Higher cost.
More food = Better Rito.
Better Rito = Better customer.
Better customer > higher cost.
Conclusion.
Buy more Ritos.
Buy more Chipotle Stock (CMG).
Do you like guac?
Yes
Do you like paying extra for said guac?
No
Would you trade your cheese and sour cream for guac?
Sometimes.
Seems like a fair trade off to me.
Do you agree?
Chipotle?
This is like if
that Warm Tortilla met that Spicy Chorizo I had
and they had a baby.
And then, meanwhile,
that crazy Brown Rice stuff I had and the Super Green Guac met
and had a baby.
And by some miracle,
those two babies met and got wrapped in tin foil
this would the Rito that they wrapped.
Chorizo is back?
Where did it go?
Why did it come back?
Why is it only back for a limited time?
Why is Chorizo so mysterious?
What is Chorizo?
Why does it taste so good in a Rito?
Asking for a friend, Chipotle.
Ever wonder how I afford to eat Chipotle multiple times a week.
Let me paint you a picture,
Say I go to the grocery for 5 dinners that week.
Flirt with the cashier one time.
Cook 5 nights that week.
Eat 5 mediocre dinners, I’m not Gordon Ramsay.
That roughly $50.
Say I go to Chipotle for 5 dinners  that week.
Flirt with the cashier 5 times.
Cook 0 nights that week.
Eat 5 delicious Ritos.
That’s roughly $50.
Does your picture have a Rito in it?